Shall we dance?

Center Gai, Shibuya, Tokyo.
The rarely seen and almost never photographed mating ritual of the “bleached coiffure construction worker” and the “covered face fascist”.

The ritual begins with the construction worker, seen here in his usual green coloured plumage, feigning sleep in the middle of a busy pedestrian street, the perfect tactic to attract the attentions of the increasingly prevalent “covered face” species of the Tokyo blue fascist.(A bizarre mutation of the blue fascist made possible by the acquiescence of the unusually docile native animals in this particular area)

Uchujin-Shall we dance?- The ritual begins

Having attracted his potential mate, the construction worker, encouraged by the local signage, slowly and a little off-balance, gets to his feet under the watchful eye of his admirer.

Uchujin-Shall we dance?- He wakes

The chaotic but beautiful dance begins, the footwork deft and stylish, Fred Astaire really has nothing on these magnificent specimens……..

Uchujin-Shall we dance?- The dance starts

The construction worker tests the strength of his mate by placing himself entirely in his hands…….

Uchujin-Shall we dance?- A test of strength

The brief dance complete, the construction worker prepares to mark the area with his scent to ward of other construction workers and passing Shibuya boys and girls, the only natural predators in the area. The covered face fascist’s attention is now fully focused…..

Uchujin-Shall we dance?- Preparing to mark the area

The scenting begins and the fascist, overcome with passion, wrestles his prize to the ground as a frightened shibuya boy, repelled by the scent looks on in awe………

Uchujin-Shall we dance?- Overcome with passion

The construction worker, bested by his freshly acquired mate and the area duly scented, submits and displays his ‘equipment’, in a show, simultaneously of defiance and placation……

Uchujin-Shall we dance?- Displaying the equipment

The covered face fascist, his excitement mounting still further, becomes more aggressive and uses increasingly physical means to assert his authority over the now compliant construction worker…….

Uchujin-Shall we dance?- Asserting authority

Realising however, that he may not be man enough to satisfy the construction worker alone , the covered face fascist quickly calls for another member of his tribe to help in the oppression impregnation of the now utterly helpless construction worker…

Uchujin-Shall we dance?- Double dip

Smelling victory, like sharks smell blood – from several kilometers away, more of the covered face fascists descend on the construction worker, eager to prove their manliness too, something which they find easiest to do in the context of their peers and when out numbering their prey or mates with overwhelming odds.

Uchujin-Shall we dance?- The predators decend

The mating ritual complete, the covered face fascists force the construction worker – still struggling despite the clothes he is wearing clearly indicating his wish to proceed, into a waiting chariot, which will whisk him off to the fascist’s lair where there actual mating will take place, an act still not captured on camera or even in audio despite repeated attempts by Amnesty International wildlife journalists over many years…….

Uchujin-Shall we dance?- The ritual completes

Post to Twitter Post to Facebook Post to LinkedIn Post to Reddit

Post navigation

10 comments for “Shall we dance?

  1. Gullevek
    March 3, 2010 at 9:50 am

    I see a drunk guy beeing arrested.

  2. March 3, 2010 at 9:51 am

    @Gullevek, then you have no imagination :-)

  3. March 3, 2010 at 3:59 pm

    AHAHAHA. Thank you for just making my breakfast so much more entertaining!! You need to put the whole set on flickr, or at least in the comments column. Brilliant stuff – amazed they didn’t shoo you away. So funny and great set of pictures, ace

  4. sean
    March 3, 2010 at 7:19 pm

    I was there with Adrian, who performed with aplomb. He was within a few meters of the police for the duration of the altercation, which was easily 20 minutes. Definitely, the police were a little rough on the drunk but to their credit, they were aware of Adrian’s presence and did nothing to obstruct him.
    When I’d described what happened to a Japanese friend, she suggested that the guy had wanted to be arrested, as it would seem pretty irrational to pee in the grip of a policeman’s mitts otherwise. Maybe the guy had lost his apartment, job, way and was thinking of square meals. Would it be more shameful to be arrested for drunkenness or descend into homelessness with a clear mind?
    Whatever the case, it was pathetic, comic, and not a little sad too.

  5. March 3, 2010 at 10:11 pm

    @sean – Actually the police did tell me to stop taking photos, but I looked around at all the japanese people with their cell phones doing the same, laughed ,pointed at them and asked him why he was telling me to stop and not them…….and then he just walked away.
    Also, I saw the same guy the very next week on the same street and talked to him, he was drunk again, with his friends this time.
    He seemed relatively normal, I think he was just drunk when these photos were taken, he was amused and asked to see the photos!
    I know you feel my polemics are unnecessary which was why I tried to turn this series into a joke albeit with a few pertinent social comments, particularly the mask wearing thing, which I find more than a little dark, these are policemen and they are allowed to hide their faces from me in a society which doesn’t have the greatest human rights record where the police are concerned??? a little fucked up don’t you think??

    Thanks to everyone for your comments.

  6. March 4, 2010 at 7:12 am

    Great set and the joking aside the words of the last caption: “the actual mating has never been recorded” (I paraphrase) is a powerful message that I hope doesn’t get lost on those that don’t know Japan and it’s laws. Really lovely work, have been so busy the last few weeks to get down on Friday nights will try to do it soon. Take care. Damon

  7. sean
    March 4, 2010 at 8:58 am

    Well, agreed on the mask thing. Unless there’s something bacterial going around and all those friendly neighborhood policemen are sharing the same coffeecup, it is unnecessary. Since not all of them wear the mask, I have to assume they’re being proactive about covering up the identity rather than receiving higher-up orders. It is possible they believe they are dealing with society’s dregs, germs and all. Or the reasons might be nefarious. You never know.
    Glad you saw the guy again. I was worried about him. He looked like he had been in for some big trouble.

  8. jimmytofu
    March 6, 2010 at 8:55 pm

    Superbly observed and recorded. Splendid commentary!

  9. March 7, 2010 at 5:58 pm

    Not to encourage you in anyway but I’ll give it to you that you need balls to be able to shoot this in full view of the blue masked guy’s and not be a little worries about their power (i.e. regardless of what your rights are if they decide it you’re fucked).
    Impressive series. Looks like that whole area still pays off to shoot :-)
    Do we have another cnn go series in the making ;-)?

  10. June 14, 2010 at 9:38 pm

    Hilarious! ROTF!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.