Toast the living and the dead who’ve gone before me

2009.07.05
Lucky Strike "Loser" - ©Uchujin-Adrian Storey. All Rights reserved.
From a recent Lucky Strike promotion where one cigarette in the box had a message on it.

It’s killed at least 3 family members that I know of.
In a CT scan I had recently some ‘nodes’ were detected in both of my lungs that could possibly maybe be the beginnings of emphysema. (The Doctor didn’t even mention it as the CT scan was for something unrelated, only when I asked him about it did he suggest ‘smoking less’).

And yet, this picture is of a cigarette I smoked.

Helpless drug addict? weak willed pathetic idiot?? Loser???
If so I’m not alone.

One of us dies every 6.5 seconds worldwide , more even than the one every 15 minutes who commit suicide here in Japan, and yet that’s effectively what we are doing.

I stopped for 2 years in my twenties, but started again and within 2 days of the first puff in 2 years I was back on a pack a day.

Almost everyone I know who has tried to quit has fallen off the wagon.

Fuck this is depressing, I’m off to drink a coffee and smoke a fag.

EDIT!!!!
Lest anyone else should think that this post is overly serious or that I am genuinely depressed about this.
Here (courtesy of my Public Relations officer Mr Bill Hicks) is what I really think about smoking.

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  • hesomagazine

    Bro, stop obsessing…you're giving everyone around you "nodes" too. You of all people should understand it's your expectations of what such and such behavior will bring which is often much more powerful than the actual behavior itself. You stressing about being a "loser" is turning you into a loser. Take it from a Californian…chill. My advice is if you can't stop "cold turkey" or gradually, do it so much you get sick of it, like mi tio taught me with tequila. That or go see a specialist about treatment plans. But above all…relax. Blogging about your pain and weaknesses will only get you commiseratively prickish comments from self-righteous assholes saying "injecting squid ink & bull semen into my spinal column seems to have worked for me…" Great shot though.

  • Uchujin

    It's interesting that this came across as being about my 'pain and weakness'.
    It was intended to be tounge in cheek.
    I'm much more from the Bill Hicks school of smoking.
    I basically wanted to post the picture and thought I should write something, kinda wish I hadn't now and had just posted it.I certainly don't think I'm a loser because I smoke.
    Oh well.

  • Hern42

    Do cloves count as bad? I think they are kinda cool… But Hey I'm french, what do we know.

  • Benny Singh

    F&*K HESO.

    ..Having a CT scan, finding nodes, being told it's the start of emphysema and experiencing people dying of it around you, should be more than a little bit of a reason to simply mention thinking about quitting in your personal blog??? dont you think??

    I dont see what is so obsessive about wanting to stop smoking. Surely it the smoking that's obsessive, not the desire to be free from it's clutches..?

    ..and maybe just like the Mi Tio, you have already done too much, and now it's just simply and naturally that time.. go for it.

    anyways, with everything else i read on this blog, it doesnt even make sense that the seemingly aware author would be comfortable supporting such an industry? let alone the health implications, which no matter how much californian tree hugging chilling you do, can still kill you…

    Bill hicks had all the light hearted chilling in the world on the subject and it still killed him.. ..

  • hesomagazine

    Interesting that this post was meant to be tongue in check, when except for the last line and the Edit (which of course was added after the post was published and after I first read it), there is no inclination that that was its intent.

    My mistake though.

    After countless serious conversations over cigarettes and gin and tonics with the author about this very subject (and all of the family memebers we both have lost to it) I figured that this would be one of the last things subjects with which the author would post such cheeky and quibbling jokes. Wouldn't want to take any actual conversations between living and breathing humans out of context, as opposed to what passes for communication up on the all-mighty screen before which we all so prostradely sit hour after hour typing polite nuances of the English language- such as F&*K- and admiring the irony and success of viral marketing campaigns of major tobacco companies.

    Please, allow me to withdraw my previous comment as poorly timed and oddly based upon real world communication.

    In closing, if Mr. or Ms. Singh would ever care to make a similar comment to my actual face, we shall surely see who would F&*K who.

  • Mrs Singh

    ….who needs the chill pill now eh? :)